Kinky Shopping with D.

Okay, so I had until Thursday to procure a Catholic school girl outfit and whatever implements I want (hope) Mr. Wonderful will use on me and there was only 1 person I knew to call. D.
D and I have been friends for 21 years. She is roughly 13 years older than I and life has gotten in the way of us being in contact like we were, but I love her dearly and today when she said I was one of the only people she knew as kinky as she was, it made me feel wonderful. It helped me remember who I used to be and the parts of that person I want back.
So after lunch and catching up, we set out, arriving at an adult store. Inside were racks of clothing and they did have a Catholic uniform that would have fit me. D. said it looked adorable. It also cost $50 and sorry, fairly soon to be divorced single mom couldn't do it. The lady even gave me a 15% off coupon when I purchased a greeting card and a leather paddle key chain for D. but I still just couldn't. I hadn't given up on goodwill yet! :) Also, all the spanking implements were leather and I was really looking for a moderate wooden paddle, not very thick, but sturdy. They had 1 wooden paddle, but it was a novelty where you have everyone sign it on someone's birthday. So D. borrowed their phone book and I called a Catholic store about 15 miles away and they said they were open until 5. Off we went again!
We had decided, as we walked in, that if they asked, I had a daughter who was my size and that's why we needed the skirt and why I needed to try it on. As we approached though, D. wondered if they would ask which school my "daughter" went to because each school has specifications you have to adhere to. As we opened the door, I said "Okay, I'm going to a costume party and I need the skirt." and we agreed that was the story we were sticking to.
They had racks of skirts, all $40-$50 and I was starting to get concerned. Then D. spotted the clearance rack. A skirt...in my size...$5.00. I realized that even though it said it was my size, it wasn't going to fit. D. agreed to put some elastic in it for me and shorten it. She's really wonderful. So we snatched it up. Eventually, while waiting for the small, demur looking lady to check us out, we grabbed the other skirt for $5.00 and I got that for D. She said she was going to tease her husband about the "twin schoolgirls" and give him a thrill.
"So what are the skirts for?" the lady inquired sweetly.
"We're going to a costume party..." I said, steadily.
"Oh yes...you'd be surprised how many people we get in here buying skirts for things like that..."
I just nodded and pressed my lips together. No lady, I think you'd be surprised...
Off we went to Walmart for white thigh highs, elastic for altering the skirts and matching white t-shirts D. said we could just cut down the middle and tie between our boobs (sort of a Britney "Hit me baby one more time!" (ironic!) look!)
So, having dubbed ourselves the "naughty Bobsy twins" and after a big hug and a promise to dress up and play with she and her husband, I was headed home. I ran by Walmart for some soap when it suddenly occured to me. Kitchen utensils. How many times in the past 2 weeks have I read about the use of kitchen utensils. So I went to the utensil aisle and buying something like that is harder (haha) that I imagined. I'm trying to smack it against my hand nonchalantly, but I did get 1 look. I ended up with this:

Okay it's heat resistant! It says it right on the label. I think it's nylon, actually. A good start or a huge mistake? I hope to get comments letting me know. So now I have at least 1 thing to try with. Getting closer to home, I remember D. saying to just pick up a paddle ball toy the kids play with. Those strike me (Man! I got a million of them!) as flimsy (D. had a "spank me" paddle presented and used on her for a birthday and it sounds like it broke before the party was even over) but again, it is Mr. Wonderful's first time, so maybe it would be appropriate...


So I stopped at a local drug store to survey what they had since Walmart didn't have any. I found a good old fashioned paddle ball right there in the toy aisle...

"Well hello!!!"
I turned around and of course...OF COURSE!!!! Hello to you too my 8 year old daughter's church choir director!!!! Suddenly, I'm in the middle of an episode of Three's Company!!!!
"How are you?"I smiled.
"What are you buying?" she asked.
"Oh...a friend...her son is having a birthday party...just something for his gift..." I smiled, holding up:

"Oh how fun! What a nice gift!" she smiled. "Well see you in church!" and she was off. I shook my head and had just decided to buy 2 paddle balls in case one broke when...
"Well, the checker said the latex gloves were over here!" she said, coming back around the corner. "So when is the party?"
Oh dear mother of GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I finally got home, SO FAR without anything being discovered. I'm going to D's house Thursday morning to pick up my altered skirt before I meet Mr. Wonderful and I think I'll see what that spatula feels like when I use it. My guess is not quite the same, but maybe I can get a sense. Worst case scenario, we kick it old school and I give him a hair brush.
Thanks D! I love you!!!!!