Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Swift Action

Copy and paste this link and tell me the FIRST thing you think of when reading it!!! Swift action! I took a quick break at work, saw this story and upon seeing the Governor promise "swift action" was instantly rendered useless and really turned on. And I don't even like Arnold!
I think this incident is a true gift to those of us within our community constantly on the look out for things we can perceive as spanking references in the vanilla world. Or is it just a perception? Maybe even as you read, Maria is over Arnold's knee, having some swift action delivered. How awesome would that be?!!?!?!
At my first job, I sit behind a desk, welcome people, scan their cards for 2 hours and 45 minutes and often, the people coming in are couples. And there are just times my mind wanders to whether or not they might be spankos. Some it's easy to imagine. Others not so much. Maybe it's just an occupational hazard of sitting and having too much time to think. But it happens all the time, especially once I've met someone's partner. I'm constantly trying to see if I can place them in a spanking scenario in my mind or not. There's no rhyme or reason to who fits the profile and who doesn't in the sick, twisted playground of my brain. It's just something about the couple that either clicks or doesn't for me. In my imagination, you either got it or you don't. And believe me, Arnold and Maria...they've got it!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Divorce Present

I've been thinking of getting a tattoo. Something small, tasteful where no one could see it (unless I want them to). I was leaning towards the Chinese symbol for freedom. Something to symbolize my divorce being final. But I wanted something immediate and I had planned on getting a tattoo on Halloween with Ninja. So I opted for something small and leather. It was Slut or Bitch. I opted for Slut. Mr. Wonderful got a few smacks in with it, but this past weekend, Ninja gave it a real workout. Plus, he also started talking about hepatitis and the fact that I would never be able to give blood again (okay I hadn't done all the research!)so this may be it as far as divorce symbols go, but the thing is, it's mine. That's one thing. I bought it and I get to decide who uses it.

This weekend I treked back to the woods for another wonderful getaway at Club Ninja and we alternated between Stinger and Leather Slut. Got a little color from Slut. Got a lot of sleep in the woods. Had a wonderful walk. Met some really nice people around a bonfire. While I think it's going to turn out that Ninja and I are better suited as friends, he went out with a bang rather than a wimper. Thanks Ninja!!!

Friday, October 2, 2009

4177 Days

That's how long I was married. 4177 Days. That was the total length of the marriage. I know it was the total length because the judge signed off today. I am no longer married. I've said I haven't felt married in 3 years or more, that it was just a legal thing and nothing more, but now that I'm legally divorced, it's still odd. Very, very odd.
Anti-Christ came over for dinner Monday (it was his birthday) and he and Offspring and I had a really pleasant evening. He can act normal when he chooses to (which pisses me off no end!), he usually just didn't choose to when we were married. But now we aren't.
I can go marry someone else tomorrow (I'm NOT going to!). It's weird to see someone in passing, just a "Hey, see you" "Okay bye" kind of exchange that lasts 30 seconds and know that you were with this person, every day for 1/3 of your life. To look at someone and think "I used to have sex with you, you and I made a human being together" and to not be with that person. I don't want to be with that person, but it's still weird.
He came to pick up Offspring the other day and he was wearing a shirt I had never seen before. I had this man's entire wardrobe committed to memory for 11 years and suddenly there are things he'll be wearing I won't be familiar with. Weird.
I know there will be all sorts of emotions floating around and I need to just accept them and deal with it. The whole thing sort of reminds me of being pregnant. Before I got pregnant, all I heard was how wonderful it was and how it was the most natural thing on the planet. Now I was really happy to be pregnant, but it was weird. Nine months of weird. It wasn't "I'm growing beautiful..." it was looking down at my stomach thinking "There's a human being in there..." that was odd. It was looking at an empty room and thinking "There are no people there and soon there will be and why? Oh because my body's going to expel them!!!!" Strange! Things strike me as unusual or odd or weird more than they strike me as joyous or tragic, I guess. Things that other people think are natural, I just sometimes have trouble getting my mind around. Of course, the things I do think are normal, I KNOW there are lots who will think those are weird, so I'm certainly not judging.
It's over. It's really, truly over. I know I'm connected to him forever, I know we will always be in each other's lives through Offspring, but being married to him is finished forever and it was definitely the hardest thing I ever did, ending this. And it was definitely the best thing I ever did for myself. And's weird.