It is roughly 30 days until my soon to be ex moves out (God willing because homicide is swiftly appearing as a more viable alternative) and since we have been seperated (but living together) for a little over 2 years and the years before that weren't so great, I can say with definite certainty, that I am 99% ECSTATIC that this relationship is over. The number will fluctuate once our child is informed, I know that. The other night I actually got a little sad thinking about my vegetable garden while I have never set foot in, since I have a tendency to kill all living plant life and wondering what would happen to it next summer when he was gone. So I'm not saying I'm doing cartwheels...okay I'm doing SOME cartwheels. But today, I started thinking about the things I can do when he is gone. And what brought this to mind was my tupperware, most of which is the cheapter Glad stuff, not that it matters.
Now keep in mind, that I've considered myself single for 27 months, but legally I was not and logistically, I was not, as B. & Mr. Wonderful point out. So when I am REALLY single, AND living alone, in EVERY WAY, I guess it will be different.
When I am single, all my tupperware will be stored neatly, with the lids on the proper containers and they will stay that way. Years of angst brainwashed me into thinking "At least he put some dishes away! Be grateful!" but I don't have to think that anymore.
When I am single, I can bring in groceries without being accosted "How much was this?" "Did we really need this?" (This is really infuriating, considering how frugal and sensible I am)
When I am single and kid is with dad, I can invite people over without worrying about anyone else's "mood". Is he happy and polite and jovial? Is he sullen and snippy and menopausal? (I am 100% convinced male menopause...VERY real!!!)
When I am single and kid is with dad (or even in bed asleep) I can use vibrator whenever I want. Why not use it now? While I have my own room, this sucker is (or seems) loud.
When I am single, I can go get a tattoo and anyone who would like to offer suggestions on what to get, I am open. Something small, something tasteful, something that will be placed where only I and those I grace with the honor of viewing can see. Should it be something significant to the occasion? Like shackles breaking?
When I am single and kid is with dad, I can come and go as I please, and answer to no one. I don't have to have a reason for going anywhere. I don't have to make up excuses for why I'm gone. Where I go, when I go, completely up to me.
I know there are more and I know there are hard times ahead. The anti-Christ won't respond to any emails about the specifics of the divorce, so I have to actually speak to him. Blech! But how much does that speak to our current times? I'm sitting in a room, emailing a man who is sitting 20 feet away, on another computer? (Trust me, the talking thing wasn't so much working...grunts and insults are two things I WILL NOT MISS!!!)
But it's getting close. It's getting so close and my heart breaks for my child whose world is about to be turned upside down because of my decision. That is something that kept me here years longer than I should have stayed. But I'm moving foward, I'm staying positive, I have my wonderful friends, my family, my kid and my tupperware. :)