Saturday, July 11, 2009
So I did a google image search for misunderstanding and found nothing so I just put this up. This is THE hottest woman! I mean...wow!
So Mr. Wonderful and I had our first "misunderstanding". 5 months in, it was bound to happen. And I refuse to call it a fight, because it wasn't a lot of heated anger and also, 99% of the "misunderstanding" was done via chat and email. It was a horrible day...the perfect way to end a horrible week in which everything went wrong. It was also the first time since I met him I seriously thought I was going to cry. That's how happy I've been. But the "unfortunant incident aka the misunderstanding" just drove home some realities of our situation that I hate. Most of the time, I can close my eyes to them, but there are times when these realities hit us both in the face and there's nothing we can do abou that. At one point, in one of his emails, he wrote "Let's stop this." it wasn't angry, it wasn't an order, but it was true. It was time to stop. Feelings were hurt, sadness was equally experienced, but we love each other and to me, that's what matters. So, as I honestly love to do, I followed his lead and I stopped emailing with my defenses up.
After he got off work (he leaves work 2 hours before I do), he drove 10 miles out of his way and parked in the parking lot to kiss me for 5 minutes. It was amazing. It was not something that was required, it was definitely not something that I expected him to do, even though it is very much in keeping with his personality. To me, what it did was reconnect us. I was still sad and so was he, but kissing him, touching him, holding him for 5 minutes made me remember that I am madly in love with this man. 100% of my needs are being met 98% of the time, as I told him later. Who gets that in life? Why complicate something so beautiful and organic?
Today was the perfect day. Aside from the fact we almost missed each other because "our place" didn't have any rooms and I had to drive around looking for 1 and was franticallly texting him, it was perfect. Tied to a chair for 25 minutes, face slapped several times, some paddling, a wonderful orgasm (for both of us), then afterwards, an hour of relaxation. An hour of talking and again, I felt, reconnecting. He said it was nice to see my smile after the week I had had. He apologized for Friday and I did as well, because it's not about blame or fault, it's about loving hiim, something I'm prepared to do...I don't feel like I should say forever, but I can't see a time when I won't. I did ask him the other day if ever broke up, for whatever reason, if we could still email and chat, because I need to make sure that, in whatever capacity it is, I am able to love him forever. He said we could and that let me breath again.