Okay so just to be clear, I am NOT frigid. Absolutely not. I just looked up the definition and I AM NOT frigid. I have orgasms a plenty, with Mr. Wonderful and without. Absolutely no problem. Also, as I was telling him, he is the first man with whom intercourse has been pleasurable. Now I've never had an orgasm with a penis inside me, but I really do enjoy it when we do that. My problem is two fold:
1) When we are playing, when he is dominating me, when he spanks me or slaps me, it almost feels like it's more difficult to cum than if he just kisses me and touches. me. It honestly feels like I'm TOO aroused to respond. Eventually, I am able to talk myself down and enjoy the feel of his body and cum, but is it possible to be SO aroused that it's difficult to respond when you get down to the meat and potatoes?
2) I hate oral sex. I love performing it, CAN NOT STAND receiving it. The minute someone's mouth is down there, I just can't stand it. It's as if my vagina is just TOO sensitive. If he is using his lips (AND ONLY HIS LIPS), it's bareable. Not pleasant, but at least I'm not jumping out of my skin. But the minute a tongue is introduced, I want to jump on the ceiling. It's not painful in anyway, it's just really really hard to take. It makes my entire body tense up and I'm clawing the sheets and I'm moaning (not in ecstasy by any means) and I'm trying to hold it together. My ex said there was something wrong with me and I needed to see a doctor. B., while never judging, seemed surprised because she says that's one of her favorite parts of sex, Mr. Wonderful has been very patient and has tried different things, but honestly, I just think there's something wrong with me! Mr. Wonderful (I think) teased me that I would make the worst lesbian ever! The relationships I've had with women in the past, let's just say it was never an issue, due to time constraints or large, messy emotional issues. BUT I have been told that I am VERY talented when it comes to performing oral sex, on men and women, so I take pride in that.
I told Mr. Wonderful that the issue I've had, and it makes me very self conscious, is that I have this super charged sexual drive and this insanely over sensitive body that rebels against just about everything. I can't take having my ears touched. I can't take anything, fingers, tongue around my belly button, oral sex, we've covered. My nipples were the same way, this infuriating mix of overly sensitive and numb, especially since giving birth 8 years ago. So licking, sucking, can't stand it. Mr. Wonderful, again patient and amazing, realized that what my body would respond to was his mouth on my nipples roughly. He attacks them and it's all good.
So I don't know what to do now. The man has a beautiful, never say die spirit but at the same time, he isn't judging me, so I don't really worry about it, but it does get frustrating. So, my 5 followers and anyone else who should happen by...thoughts? Suggestions? Seriously, I'm at the point I'll try anything!
Also...Mr. Wonderful bought me a vibrator several weeks ago. He used it on my once and I used it last night. The sound and the vibration gets me into a near catatonic state and I go to sleep. Both times. It's a beautiful sensation and absolutely the best way to relax but isn't it supposed to make me cum? Maybe it's defective...maybe I'm defective! :)