Okay so just to be clear, I am NOT frigid. Absolutely not. I just looked up the definition and I AM NOT frigid. I have orgasms a plenty, with Mr. Wonderful and without. Absolutely no problem. Also, as I was telling him, he is the first man with whom intercourse has been pleasurable. Now I've never had an orgasm with a penis inside me, but I really do enjoy it when we do that. My problem is two fold:
1) When we are playing, when he is dominating me, when he spanks me or slaps me, it almost feels like it's more difficult to cum than if he just kisses me and touches. me. It honestly feels like I'm TOO aroused to respond. Eventually, I am able to talk myself down and enjoy the feel of his body and cum, but is it possible to be SO aroused that it's difficult to respond when you get down to the meat and potatoes?
2) I hate oral sex. I love performing it, CAN NOT STAND receiving it. The minute someone's mouth is down there, I just can't stand it. It's as if my vagina is just TOO sensitive. If he is using his lips (AND ONLY HIS LIPS), it's bareable. Not pleasant, but at least I'm not jumping out of my skin. But the minute a tongue is introduced, I want to jump on the ceiling. It's not painful in anyway, it's just really really hard to take. It makes my entire body tense up and I'm clawing the sheets and I'm moaning (not in ecstasy by any means) and I'm trying to hold it together. My ex said there was something wrong with me and I needed to see a doctor. B., while never judging, seemed surprised because she says that's one of her favorite parts of sex, Mr. Wonderful has been very patient and has tried different things, but honestly, I just think there's something wrong with me! Mr. Wonderful (I think) teased me that I would make the worst lesbian ever! The relationships I've had with women in the past, let's just say it was never an issue, due to time constraints or large, messy emotional issues. BUT I have been told that I am VERY talented when it comes to performing oral sex, on men and women, so I take pride in that.
I told Mr. Wonderful that the issue I've had, and it makes me very self conscious, is that I have this super charged sexual drive and this insanely over sensitive body that rebels against just about everything. I can't take having my ears touched. I can't take anything, fingers, tongue around my belly button, oral sex, we've covered. My nipples were the same way, this infuriating mix of overly sensitive and numb, especially since giving birth 8 years ago. So licking, sucking, can't stand it. Mr. Wonderful, again patient and amazing, realized that what my body would respond to was his mouth on my nipples roughly. He attacks them and it's all good.
So I don't know what to do now. The man has a beautiful, never say die spirit but at the same time, he isn't judging me, so I don't really worry about it, but it does get frustrating. So, my 5 followers and anyone else who should happen by...thoughts? Suggestions? Seriously, I'm at the point I'll try anything!
Also...Mr. Wonderful bought me a vibrator several weeks ago. He used it on my once and I used it last night. The sound and the vibration gets me into a near catatonic state and I go to sleep. Both times. It's a beautiful sensation and absolutely the best way to relax but isn't it supposed to make me cum? Maybe it's defective...maybe I'm defective! :)
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ReplyDeleteThanks Dante! I appreciate the advice and will definitely consider it. Mr. Wonderful is definitely a guy who will take his time and put me first and has NEVER made me feel there is anything wrong with me. So I think it will all work out...
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ReplyDeleteThat's great to know Shy. (Just to clarify though, I never suggested he would do otherwise.)
I apologize for any misreading on my part. It was very late and I have been very sick for a couple of days, coughing up a lung every hour or so, lol, and my head isn't very clear (not that it ever was) so I obviously misread your post.
I read it as though you were really concerned about about this and that it was causing you a lot of grief.
Under the circumstances, and as exhausted as I was at the time, I should have read it twice so I would have understood that what I thought was causing you a lot of anguish actually is something you think will be just fine.
I'm thrilled to know that is the case. I was really worried about you and it's god to know it was all my misunderstanding.
I'm going to remove what I wrote just so the record of my idiocy isn't permanent, lol, but I might eventually post it on my own site because I did write it with the idea that other women who read your blog might have sex-related issues similar to those I mistakenly believed you had, and perhaps something I wrote might be able to help in some way. (If I do that I promise I will not mention you at all as you surely don't want everyone else rushing over here to help you with a problem that really is no problem the way I did.)
Anyway, just want you to know that if I thought there was any kind of problem with "Mr. Wonderful" I would have specified him in all my remarks (instead of just the couple times I did that were complimentary), or emailed you privately. More likely, I would never have responded at all because I know it is usually a waste of time to suggest to woman or man newly in love that anything new love interest might be doing could possibly less than perfect.
It takes a couple years usually before they start to see flaws and a couple years after that to start seeing flaws that don't really exist, lol.
I wasn't saying anything about him. I had no reason to do so. I was talking only about the problem I thought you had.
Again, sorry for misreading your post and I'm really glad to hear it's really no big deal at all!
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☼☼☼Dante☼☼☼
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Hey Dante, you didn't need to remove your posts! I thought they were great and very insightful and I did find them helpful and I'm sure others would have too! I hope I didn't offend you or hurt your feelings and you felt compelled to remove them. LOVE your blog BTW.
ReplyDeleteAnd some of the last words were thoughts? Suggestions? So it sounds like you were reading it correctly! :)
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ReplyDeleteHi Shy,
This is the first time I've had a chance to stop back here since leaving the above ... ummm ... "non-comments." :)
No, I wasn't offended whatsoever. I was worried that you might have been or that Mr. Wonderful might see what I wrote and think it was directed at him.
I just didn't want to take that chance.
Unfortunately, when I removed the comments it left a bunch of "This post has been removed by the author" junk that makes it look as if we had some kind of major issues, lol. That couldn't be farther from the truth.
I don't know if you can delete those, but feel free to if you can and want to. (I can do so on my blog but your setting might be different.)
I'm off to read your latest post ...
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☼☼☼Dante☼☼☼
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