Sunday, May 2, 2010
Okay, so as everyone knows, Mr. Wonderful used to spank me. He was good at it, but it wasn't something I think he was ever 100% comfortable with. He did it for me, which was great, but it never felt like he was that into the whole experience. Ninja definitely seemed to enjoy spanking me, but the guy was so good-natured and easy going he never seemed that interested in any of the other components.
My Friend, I'm prepared to call it, is a definitely Spanko. He says he's never done it before and it sounds like he started with this blog and moved on to other research, but the guy is a natural!
Last night and this morning, for example...me, hands tied behind my back, feet tied, sitting in a chair getting my face slapped (not lightly) and then blindfolded, someone leather (I think) slapping my outer thighs and my tits and then bent over his love seat, still bound, face in the cushions, getting spanked. I was given a safe word which I never used. But it's more than just the bondage and the spanking, it's his attitude. He gets it. He gets the voice tone, he gets the commands, he gets the dynamic of D/s and it is so amazing. This morning, it didn't seem to matter how much he beat on me, I just couldn't get enough. He ever started beating on my vagina and it was not pleasant, but he kept going and I just gritted my teeth and took it. Then after he gave me an orgasm, I just wanted more spanking. I realized that begging him to stop, not meaning a word of it and he knows it, arouses him. The idea that I'm NOT offended if he grabs a handful of my hair and leads me around does not mean disrespect to me and he loves that. I love telling him that there isn't anything he can ask me to do that I won't do and there isn't anything he wants to do to my body that I'll say no to, because above all else, I trust this man so unconditionally.
Now I trusted Mr. Wonderful also, but he was never going to go to the places My Friend seems to want to, so the trust is that much more important and I do trust him with every inch of myself. I trust him to put his hand over my mouth and nose so I can't breath and when I start to struggle, he knows exactly how long to let me before allowing me to breath.
The fact that I feel actual trepidation when driving to his house because I don't know what he's going to do to me, is just the coolest sensation.
Now, at heart, My Friend, I believe, is very much a product of the 60's and 70's, women's liberation movement and he has a lot of female friends, so the issue keeps coming up...respect, objectification, etc. but as time goes on, I think he's realizing that while yes, I want to go out and I want to talk and I want to laugh and I want to spend time with him in decidedly non-sexual situations, that when it comes to this, I am his object. He is what I've been looking for. I think he gets the balance and I think he understands that while I don't want someone to give me a black eye or tell me how to vote, (grabbing me and slamming me up against a wall to kiss me though? Way hot!), I love the orders, I love the occasional disapproval, I love getting my ass smacked in the grocery store. And I love all these things from someone who does respect me, someone who gets the balance and knows how to use it, someone who I would trust with everything I have. That is My Friend.
I was a little worried, in the beginning, that the fact that he had read this blog for so long without my knowing, would strip our whatever it is (he refuses to call it a relationship until we're exclusive and I abide by his wishes)of spontaneity and mystery, it bothered me a little. I asked and he graciously agreed that maybe we could just pretend that he knows these things I like just because he does. Because he is just that insightful and just that in tune with my body, and now, I do believe that is the case. I think he does know and is always asking questions to make sure that I am okay and I am okay. Better than okay. Thank you very much.