Thursday, September 3, 2009
Okay so none of my guys "technically" look like this...but I'm not complaining. :)
Today was not a great day starting out. The Anti-Christ is gone. Officially gone all the time. But not content to sit on his laurels, he continues to attempt to make sure my life is as miserable as possible. So as I was telling my 12 step group last week, it feels like I have two options: I can continue to bend over backwards and be a door mat, accommodating him to "keep the peace" for my daughters sake, or I can be this total bitch who just says "Fuck you" and hangs up the phone and make sure I match him at every turn and make this as contentious and miserable as possible. I'm sure there's a middle ground for me, but it just isn't clear right now. I've been saying my serenity prayer a lot today, "God, Grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change..." because I can't change the Anti-Christ. As B. asked "In 13 years have you EVER been able to get him to change his mind or even listen to your point of view?" That would be no! In fact, I've killed myself explaining my point of view, presented logical arguments, charts, graphs, statistics...never works. So maybe it's time to stop killing myself trying.
So I took the afternoon off, I met Mr. Wonderful for 5 great hours and then on my way to my 12 step meeting I tortured Ninja on the phone for calling me "middle aged" (Long, funny story).
I'm convinced that God looked down at me and my marriage and said, "You've been through enough" and he sent me Mr. Wonderful. Someone so kind and generous and loving who makes me feel so special. As I've stated, our relationship has its limitations, but his being amazing isn't one of them. But then, I found Ninja to prove that there was more than 1 person who might treat me decently in the world. And he's just this really sweet, smart goofy guy who's sort of cracked like me. It's going slowly, which is nice, considering how quickly everything else in my life seems to be moving. So here I am, playing the field, as my friend Dave points out. (Dave is one of my "honorary" guys, since we've never actually met in person!) The funny thing is, they do have some things in common...mainly telling me I'm sexy and funny and sarcastic (which luckily both seem to think is a plus) and they both REALLY like my ass. Now I'm not someone who is used to having people tell her much of anything nice about herself. In fact, 13 years with AC conditioned me to NOT expect anything of the sort.
The other thing they have in common is this incredible sense of consideration that just cracks me up. I don't mean they are considerate towards me (which they both are) but they are actually considerate towards each other, having never even met once! When I was going to spend 36 hours with Mr. W, Ninja kept telling me to have a good time and he'd be thinking of me. Um...okay. Ninja said my time with Mr. Wonderful would make me happy and he just wanted to see me happy. Mr. W keeps worrying that he needs to back off so he doesn't get in the way of Ninja and me. Then Ninja asks if I've told anyone about our next date we have planned. I tell him just Mr. Wonderful and he starts in on not wanting to cause any issues or problems between Mr. W & myself.
Seriously, what GUYS do this sort of thing? The two of them are killing themselves, trying to make sure THE OTHER ONE is in no way inconvenienced or offended or whatever. It's just surreal. And it's really sweet. And I feel really lucky to have found both of them.
Shout out to another "honorary" guy, Mr. Spanko, although I've had rather limited interaction with him and also his lovely wife is not a guy! Hey next post...My Girls! :)