Single Life Conundrums

Someone recently asked me if I want to have any more kids. The question was a jarring one, because this is suddenly a relevant question to ask me once more. I’m going to be dating and “Do you want anymore kids?” is a pertinent question that is in no way out of line. I just didn’t think I would have to answer it again. “No, absolutely not,” was always the answer when I was married. We both liked having 1 child. End of story. Now, that story has actually ended and I have to come up with answers for the new questions in the new story.

Another thing I’m going to be navigating is the shaving issue. Apparently the general population wants a woman shaved and smooth. This has not been my experience in the past.. Prior to now, the people I encountered didn’t seem to care so I never took any steps to rectify this. Also, I can count on 1 hand the number of times I’ve worn a bathing suit in the past 10 years and when I did, I was 50 pounds heavier and the bottom part of the 1 piece were shorts, so no…maintenance of overgrowth has not been a priority.

Now, it appears it is going to be. Well I’m nothing if not accommodating. I tried to shave myself a few times. Then Mr. Wonderful attempted to help as well. We both had some limited success and looking back, I blame the razors which were suited just fine for legs and pits, but perhaps not other more challenging areas.

Earlier this week I was instructed by Mr. Spanko (of Mr. & Mrs. Spanko, my new friends I am currently having phone sex with) to shave before our next phone session. And so yesterday I tried. Again, doing the best I could. Last night, Mrs. Spanko gave me advice on the type of razor and shaving cream to use and I was again, instructed to try soon.

Monday night through Wednesday morning, I am going to be spending 38 hours IN A ROW, with Mr. Wonderful. This has never happened, so I thought, why not give him a thrill and get waxed.

I called a beauty salon place near my house and asked them about waxing. I have never been waxed so I got the low down on bikini versus extreme bikini versus Brazilian. Okay I make an appointment and the lady says “We’ll see you then…”

and I say “Do I need to bring anything? Do anything?”

“Just grow out…”

“Grow out?”
“Yeah, the hair needs to be ¼ inch thick…”

Um…okay. Here’s my challenge, I shaved last night and while I truly believe I did a piss poor job, the hair that’s left may well be less than ¼ inch. Do I get a ruler? A teeny, tiny ruler? (Those of you about to email me, offering to come measure…and you KNOW who you are, PUT DOWN THE MOUSE AND STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD!!!!)

The lady did offer that if I just came in, the technician would “Give it a look and see what she could do…”

Okay…I guess we’ll see!

Recently I received my performance appraisal at work and 1 thing they talked to me about was my attitude towards learning new things. Apparently I am professional, I am well liked, I am respected and appreciated as a hard worker and valuable member of our team. But when it comes to learning new things, I suck and they said as much. I become snarly and uncooperative is the general consensus. I agreed to work on it because while “Someone should really talk to me about my attitude” is my perfect standard, flirty, smart-ass comeback to my friends and lovers in the spanko world, I resisted the urge to say it to my 61 year old female boss!

Lately I’m realizing that while I may resist those new things (I’m sorry they are super boring and do not relate to my job at all, but I have improved…fear of unemployment has seen to that!!)…there are so many things I’m discovering I have absolutely NO qualms about investigating. I am feeling very adventurous and inquisitive right now. Things I thought would never hold any appeal, I’m suddenly interested in knowing…whether I try them or not may be another issue…or maybe it won’t.

Many attribute this to the final home stretch of the divorce, which is slowly wrapping up and at the same time becoming more contentious and ugly. I know there are those, even aside from Mr. Wonderful, who worry I’m going to jump off the deep end and go nuts but it doesn’t feel like that. It feels like I get to open my eyes, I get to see what’s out there, I get to make decisions on what I do and what I learn based on me and only me. That feels nice. Someone please remind me of this as I’m having the hair ripped from the follicles in my body on Sunday! If I’m lucky (and bushy) enough that is...